Merijane muses: The dating game


A salty Maine chick’s musings on life’s joys, heartbreaks & curveballs

By Merijane Bureau

[DING DONG]  Your doorbell rings.  You jump up, check dating bottom photoyour hair in the mirror one last time, make sure you don’t have lipstick on your teeth. Your blind date is here to pick you up; he’s a friend of a friend.

You answer the door, full of hope that Prince Charming is on the other side….

You flash a sexy smile, which instantly fades into a polite upswing at the corners of your mouth.  The wind goes out of your sails.  You feel a sense of disappointment instantly.

He’s definitely NOT my type — you conclude, instantly and silently — too tall, kinda geeky, and he’s wearing white socks with black dress shoes…sigh…Cupid, work on your aim with that arrow!  At least he seems nice, and he has a good-person vibe going on…

He hands you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, introduces himself, and says how lovely you look.  You smile, sniff the pretty flowers, and put them in a vase.

The two of you go out for a nice dinner, then to see a movie.  He turns out to be a lot of fun, a perfect gentleman and a delightful

You arrive back home hours later.  Your stomach hurts from laughing so much.  The two of you agree to meet up next weekend for brunch.

Somewhere between the entrée and dessert, you stopped noticing his white socks with black shoes and started noticing his blue eyes and great sense of humor.

You go to sleep with a smile on your face that night, looking forward to getting to know this person better.  Whether he’s Prince Charming or not, you still aren’t sure, but he turned out to be a pretty cool guy after all….

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Whatcha Looking For?

When you’re single, it’s the perfect time to reevaluate what you’re looking for in a partner, the qualities that are the most
important to you.  Make a list of your five favorite qualities in a person, and get focused on finding your perfect match, instead of the girl with the tightest dress.

Do you want someone who can make you laugh, likes animals, wants kids?  Is it important to you that your future partner has the same religious or spiritual beliefs as you?

Maybe you want a partner who shares your love of the outdoors, someone to be sporty with.  Perhaps you’re searching for your couch potato soul mate to snuggle, watching movies and eating comfort food on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Whip up your dream partner in your head.  It’s easier to FIND what you’re looking for, when you KNOW what you’re looking for!  Learn from the past.  Figure out what makes you happy and what doesn’t.

I read a quote I loved recently, which went something like this… “Love the girl who makes your world the most beautiful, not the most beautiful girl in the world.”  Remember, outward beauty fades over time, but the sparkle of inner beauty just keeps shining brighter.  So look for the “right kinda beautiful” when single and searching for your sweetheart.

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The Do’s & Don’ts of Dating
·      Don’t order a small tossed salad, if what you really want is a big, juicy hamburger.  Be You, from Day One.

·      Don’t pretend to be a high heels & lipstick girl, if you’re really a jeans & t-shirt kinda gal.  Being comfortable makes you walk
with more confidence, which is the sexiest thing you can wear.

·      Accentuate your assets, but don’t dress like a hoochie.  Be sure to reveal plenty of that beautiful brain of yours.  Don’t put yourself on the clearance rack with the ditzy act.

·      Step out of the box, in terms of “the type” you usually date. Get to know the gift under the gift-wrap.

·      Don’t go on and on and on about what a train wreck your Ex was.  It says “I’m not over my Ex yet.”  One of my favorite quotes: “Be a good listener; your ears will never get you into trouble.”

·      When your relationship is brand new, don’t be a “beck-and-call girl” [or guy] sitting by the phone, waiting for a call, texting every hour, appearing to have nothing better to do.  Keep living your life and being you; don’t turn into a wishy washy “who do you want me to be?” type with no backbone.
·      Pay attention to the little things, like how your date treats the waitress at a restaurant.  Little things speak volumes about a
person’s character.  Don’t ignore the red lights.

·      Stop looking for love and start looking for YOU.  Start dating yourself, so to speak.  Take a class, go out you’re your friends,

learn how to golf, etc.  Figure out what ignites your passions and follow that.  Nothing is as attractive as a person who knows who they are.

·      Don’t be disappointed if a date doesn’t work out to be a love connection; they may be a fun new friend to hang out with.  Take the pressure off yourself, relax and enjoy just meeting new people.
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Don’t settle for less than that person who can give you the inexplicable butterfly flutters, just by walking into the room.  Open
your heart to receiving love [easier said than done, I know], and love will find you on some ordinary day, when you least expect it.   The “happily ever after” you thought was reserved for other people, is suddenly yours as well.

When you’re with the right person, you fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.  You don’t have to cram down corners of who you
are in order to make it work; it just works.

Trust me, I thought Cupid lost my address, too, but he was just waiting for us both to be ready for each other.  Life unfolds exactly
the way it’s supposed to.  So sit back, and enjoy the journey.”